I'm loving every minute man.

So here I am.
I just made it through my first semester of college after being homebound my last two years of high school. I just made it through my first semester of college over 500 miles away. I just made it through my first Christmas season in two years outside of the hospital. I just made it through my 17th surgery. I just made it through the year. Heck, I just made it through the freaking day. I am making it through it all. 
I'd start at the beginning, but it goes a little further back than that.
I didn't grow up a 'sick kid.' I grew up doing gymnastics and cheerleading from the time I was two years old. I was competitive. And I loved every minute of it. I waited until my fifth orthopedic surgery before I decided to draw the line and give it up for my health and for my team. I don't give up easy. Why would I? Wounds heal and life goes on. Until things just kind of, change.
Less than a year later, in the beginning of my junior year, I just wasn't getting better. After surgery, I always just feel knocked on my butt. Tired, sore, and altogether just working my butt off to function period. I had a major surgery that September. And that feeling never went away. 
December 2, 2012 I was finally admitted to the hospital. They suspected I had viral meningitis. Spinal Tap (Happy Birthday!): Nothing. Brain scan: nothing. Bloods: nothing. Nothing. Anywhere. No results, no news. I was put on some heavy duty migraine medication and tested some more.

Just one of those basic sleeping tests.
 (Wires are annoying.)

After a week or so one of my doctors wanted to test my orthostatics (measure the changes in my heart rate and blood pressure from laying down to sitting to standing.) And I got my diagnosis. Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS), an autonomic nervous system dysfunction. Basically, my body hates me and won't do anything right. When they let me out, not much changed. I spent the next six months in bed. Because for the most part, even though there was a name for it, none of my doctors knew what the heck was wrong with me. 

So we raised some money, a lot of money- neighbors got a whole new meaning to me- I got a flight paid for by Miracle Flights for Kids, and flew from Las Vegas, NV to Rochester, MN to spend a week at the Mayo Clinic. I saw so many doctors and met so many people the majority of it is a blur. But it was incredible, and life changing. My POTS diagnosis was confirmed with more in depth testing. I saw a geneticist and was diagnosed with Ehlers Danlos Syndrome type 3 (EDS), a collagen disorder. They also added on Fibromyalgia (a chronic pain syndrome), and chronic migrianes. And my handfulls of pills slowly increased. Since then I've also been diagnosed with gastropariesis (my stomach just sucks at digesting), and Chiari Malformation (in which brain tissue extends into your spinal canal).

In the past four years I've had eight orthopedic surgeries [Right shoulder repair; right and left knee repairs, repositionings, and hardware removals (4); Left thumb repairs (2)], four port-a-cath replacements/removals, Brain surgery [Chiari malformation decompression], and a right heart cath. Plus the not so out of the ordinary removal of my wisdom teeth. 
And we're finally figuring it out. IV fluids weekly, 13-20 pills daily, stretching, lots of drinking, lots of salt, limited diet, and a lot of figuring out how to best manage my time.
And no. It's not all figured out and no I'm not getting better. But this is my life and I'm along for whatever ride I'm put on. 

God is my support and I know that He knows better than I what I can handle. And I wouldn't change my situation at all if I had the chance. Through this journey I have learned things I never would have otherwise, I have met people that have changed my life, and I have learned how important it is to pay careful attention to myself. I have learned my limits and I have learned that I can break past those limits. I have learned what it is to care for someone and to be cared for. I have learned the meaning and importance of service. I have learned. I have been able to make a difference. And that's all I ever want in life.

I used to hate others telling me how strong I was. I only feel relatively strong like 40% of the time. I couldn't stand hearing What an inspiration I am. But I guess if I want to send any sort of message to the world, I'd want it to be an inspirational one. I used to hate being seen for my imperfections. But I know now that it's our imperfections that shape us for the best, if we let them. My weaknesses have become my strengths. And I am finding that strength regularly.
So hello. I'm 19 and I am chronically ill. And despite what some might figure, I'm okay with that. I'm not too young to be this sick. I'm not too young to know those big words. I'm not too young to have to teach my doctors things that might surprise them on their exams. I am not too young to have had more surgeries than my grandparents or too young to take twice as many medications. I am not too young. Illness never discriminates. 

I'm on a journey to better health (Thank you Cameron for that term). And ironically for me that means finding out how sick I really am. And it's a heck of a ride, but I love rollercoasters, so I'm alright living on one. It's a heck of a life. And I'm still loving every minute of it.