"the standard of health, comfort, and happiness experienced by an individual or group."
According to Wikipedia, "Researchers at the University of Toronto's Quality of Life Research Unit define quality of life as 'The degree to which a person enjoys the important possibilities of his or her life' (UofT). Their Quality of Life Model is based on the categories 'being', 'belonging', and 'becoming', respectively who one is, how one is not connected to one's environment, and whether one achieves one's personal goals, hopes, and aspirations"
According to professionals, my quality of life with Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS) is comparable to that of a patient with congetive heart failure, or that of someone on dialysis for kidney failure. Not to mention the other handful I've got as well.
But like.. okay?...
What does that even actually mean? Who decided what the standard of health was to have "quality" in life?
Because Hello! I'm chronically ill and as much as it sucks sometimes, it's life!
What's the difference between having a good quality of life and a good life of quality?
And why is there a difference?
As I looked into it, I found that quality of life is often compared to or along with happiness in a person's life.
On that note; people often ask me, "How are you so happy... considering all you go through?"
So I just want to take a minute to answer that in a roundabout way.
[As a preface I want to remind you that NOBODY is always perfectly happy.]
Take a second and think, first, are you happy? Assuming the answer is yes (I'll get to my answer to no later.): second, what is the hardest thing you've ever gone through in your life? How did it effect you? If it was so difficult, why are you still happy? I doubt it's because that hard thing is over. Because whether it is or isn't, you still face hard things.
If the answer to my first question was no, why?? What is it in your life that is so awful that it's preventing you from the basic feeling of happiness? If it's because things altogether just suck, why not be happy anyway?
And finally, when was the last time you counted your blessings, and considered what has improved in your life over the past few years, instead of focusing on what seems like it's not as good as it used to be?
I firmly believe that happiness is a choice. You can choose to pursue happiness every day. And no, that's not going to just stop your depression in it's tracks or make all your troubles stop troubling you. But I swear from experience, deciding to pursue happiness will change things.
When you stop allowing the total crap to make you feel like total crap, change happens.
But none of this means that happiness is out of my reach!!!
Just because I have limits doesn't mean that I'm limited. I was taught growing up to follow my dreams and that I have the capability to exceed limits. Surprise surprise, getting sick hasn't changed that. I can follow my dreams and I can exceed my limits, and I can flipping succeed. And as I've grown into young adulthood, I've learned to listen to my body and my heart and my head all at the same time (or at least try to). And that means that sometimes I have to take a break, whether it's from school or homework or walking or talking or just a break from life altogether.
I find happiness in the simple fact that I'm alive, honestly. You'd think that with my "quality of life" being at an all time low or something that I would pretty much hate life.
But actually, I love it more than I may ever have the sixteen years I spent living a healthy "normal" life previous to getting sick. I have more drive and more desire and more will than I ever had before. And maybe that's because I appreciate the little things more now that the big things aren't such a big deal to me. Because now, the sort of rush I seek more often is that of the fresh spring air blowing through my hair on a Sunday morning, looking up and seeing the sky lit up with stars, or laughing so hard I'm getting cramps in my stomach and tears are streaming down my face. Though occasionally I do go out and do things that very much increase my likelihood of literally dying if something goes wrong (sledding, ice skating, long boarding... yes. I could die, actually, if I fell wrong and hit my head that likelihood is higher for me than others.), If I can breathe fresh air and I can laugh (even if it's at my own situation), I'm happy.
That's another thing. How are you supposed to enjoy life if you can't laugh at yourself once in a while? Here's a tip if you're struggling with it: recognize that irony is hilarious. I literally laughed until I cried today because the pizza guy asked us if we were spending our Saturday night in studying. I laugh when people tell me that it's odd that I have this or that because I'm so young, or that it's unlikely that I have _____ because it's so rare. I'm sorry but every one of those is 100 times funnier than any joke I've ever heard and I literally have laughed to the point of tears about them.
The point though, find the humor in your life.
Honestly. Really. I promise. Your life rocks. even if there are parts of it that just suck.
Go walk outside and take a deep breath. look around a bit, take in the smell of the grass and the sound of the birds singing for the beauty of the day. Watch the sun set, then stay up all night to watch it rise.
Curl up in bed with your snuggie and your favorite book, or go binge watch your favorite TV show. Take a walk with your friends. Write a letter. Write a crappy poem. Write in your journal. Go have a picnic. Make a blanket fort. Make blankets for newborn babies. Give sandwiches to homeless people. Hug the people you love, and tell them how much you love them. Dance like no one is watching and blast your music. Do things you enjoy, find new things to enjoy, and pursue happiness, for goodness sake! Ignore the total absolute crap surrounding you. Life is awesome, and you are getting through it. You are awesome. So recognize that and be happy.
No matter what your doctors or friends or parents or statistics are trying to tell you that you can't do, no matter what it feels like might be holding you back, limiting you, restricting you, etc. you can break free from it. You can defy odds. If you're the one setting those limits for yourself, and it's not benefiting you, stop. Don't let your fears, irrational or not, stop you from doing what you want. Maybe you'll get a few cuts and bruises, maybe you'll get a broken heart, maybe you'll end up in the hospital, but any of that could happen no matter what you're doing. So don't let anything stop you. And just maybe you'll find your happiness along the path of that broken road.
No matter what your "quality of life" might be according to anybody, Live a life of quality, and choose to find happiness.
Now get out there.
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